Good evening Greg and welcome to the Events Calendar Support forum!
Thank you for reaching out to us.
We are sorry to hear about the issues you have faced while attempting to update our plugin.
I would love to help you with this topic.
I’m stuck and not sure what to do next without losing all of the events.
How can I get the plugin to show in the Plugin list again?
Before any update, including what I am about to suggest, it is highly recommended to do a database backup, just to be extra safe.
With that in mind, you can go ahead and completely delete the Events Calendar folder using FTP.
This will not impact your existing events.
Once that is done, you can simply install the Events Calendar from scratch (as if it was a new plugin) and your site should return to normal.
Let me know how that goes.
Best regards,
Geoff B.