Geoff, sorry you’re experiencing these frustrations.
If you’re a current customer, please post in our paid forums, as previously stated.
If you’re not a paid customer, I’ll assume you’re only using our free/core plugin, for which any auto-update issues would be a result of WordPress.org, not our own plugin updating system.
As far as styling customizations, the best I can suggest is to get some CSS help from a friend, contact your theme’s author for support, or switch to a WordPress default theme like Twenty Fifteen.
I’m marking this thread as Closed. I wish you well! 🙂