Hi Gretchen. We’d be happy to help you out here. I’m assuming that you’re talking about the sidebar listing, right? Can you tell me how that is being generated (ie a widget or template tags)? If you can confirm on those fronts I’ll provide a more educated response.
As for the upcoming distinction: by default, list view should show upcoming events from a category while grid view shows everything from the month (past + future). The post order display you’re seeing there is usually caused by a conflict, either with another plugin or the theme. Are you in a position where you can test deactivation of other plugins in case that’s the root? Let me know if not.
Cool to see you’re in SF! I’m in Oakland myself. Always awesome to see the plugin used locally…kudos on that.